why?

my whole life i live in fear. i'm afraid of losing the people i love. i'm afraid of getting hurt. i'm afraid to let anyone in. i'm afraid of the future. im afraid i'll never be able to cope with everything. college, work - it's all too much.

my lecturer said i wouldn't have time to work next semester. how do i survive? i hate the situation im in now.

boyfriend is going out tonight. while i wanted to see him after he finished playing futsal, he decided not to go for futsal and he's going out with his cousin instead. fuck this. fucking fuck this.