sometimes being single is easier

so my boyfriend got upset with me because i tweeted about some handsome guy. after that i told him i wouldn't tweet anymore and i swear im not but it's so fucking hard. there's so many things i wanna say but i cant. it was so much more easier being single cause i didn't have to think twice about whatever i tweeted about. now, everytime i post a tweet about someone being good looking he gets upset. i don't think he knows how pissed i am that he hasn't texted me since we argued. the best part of it all, he said "chiow". um excuse me, since when the fuck were we friends for you to say chiow?

fucking bitch didn't even tell me he was going to play futsal. i called him and he was in the car on the way home. i swear all i wanna do right now is fucking yell a big fuck you to his face.

why?

my whole life i live in fear. i'm afraid of losing the people i love. i'm afraid of getting hurt. i'm afraid to let anyone in. i'm afraid of the future. im afraid i'll never be able to cope with everything. college, work - it's all too much.

my lecturer said i wouldn't have time to work next semester. how do i survive? i hate the situation im in now.

boyfriend is going out tonight. while i wanted to see him after he finished playing futsal, he decided not to go for futsal and he's going out with his cousin instead. fuck this. fucking fuck this.

hollaaa

why hello there everybody.

i wonder if people still read this crap.

just coming here to holla at you guys who still read this.

meow okbyez.

much love. xoxo

ilovemycountry

when i was still working in padini, not too long ago, there was this man who came in to apply for a membership card. as he was applying, he asked me why does he have to fill in his race? and i couldn't agree more. what does it matter if he was either malay, chinese or indian? and this man was malay. you can tell that he's not one of those typical motherfuckers.

he started talking about this saying that they should stop asking us to fill in our race. we shouldn't be seen as a race, we are all malaysians. as he was talking, i said "they should do the same for our identification cards then" because we're catogorized as malay or non-malay. aren't we supposed to be fulfilling 1Malaysia? what does it matter if we're not malay? and i think it's bull that malays get priority in everything. they weren't the only ones who built this country.

i think the non-malays would gladly go back to "where they came from" cause we weren't born in malaysia. we didn't stay here our whole lives. we're just immigrants aren't we? fuckers. so long as our birth certificates says we were born here, we belong here.

you all can shove a dick down your throats and choke on it.

xxx

since no one visits this blog anymore, i'm gonna rant on here today.

you know after years and years of knowing you, you still haven't changed a single bit. wait, maybe you did, but you sorta got worse. i don't think you realise how much you made all of your friends dislike you. the things you do and the words you say are kinda fucked up. i don't get why you have to be so insecure and you always make a big deal out of everything.

it's kinda funny though how you act when guys are around. you're more obnoxious and louder than usual. i hope one day they see you for who you actually are. also, whats up with dating your close friends fling? i remember you telling me that he's in love with her, right? and the next thing i know you were all over him.

i cant believe how conceited you are. you go around calling your OWN friends sluts when you yourself isn't any better. maybe it's time for you to see the light. you need to grow up and stop being a self-righteous bitch to everyone.

anonymous

i just read my chatbox and someone left a message there. i don't know if it's all bs but idk, it just made me feel so much more better about myself. so to that person who commented without a name, you should know that today, you made someone feel happier about themself. thank you and thank you. and maybe you should leave your name there so i know who you are (:

thefuck.

you tell me not to hangout with others and just hangout with you guys, but you don't even answer your fucking phone. you're pissing me off. i don't care if you want to think that im overreacting but seriously, i've had enough lah. when it comes to other girls, it's different. you'll ask me to call them. you wanna hangout with them, you call. don't fucking ask me to call them. dah lah, i dah malas dengan you. i thought this time it would be different, but i was wrong, as i always am.

and you, you haven't changed at all. stop acting like you're so close to him when you're not. baru jumpa sekali, but wanna act as though you've known each other for ages. fucking gedik man. then wanna menyibuk and get jealous when people leave you out.

fuckmylife.

solitary

le sigh

450

you don't call
you only call when you need something
and when you don't have anyone else to hang out with
you don't care anymore

i really miss those days
where we used to see each other everyday
and make random plans
hangout with each other
never mattered where we were
or how much we had
as long as we were together
i miss all that

everyone's changed
and i hate it
i hate it so much
i want them back
i want to have friends where i can tell things to
and be the first one they call when they need to talk
to be apart of something
thats all i want
now everyone im with
i feel so lost
like as if i don't belong

i want to go back to the first time we all met
i miss it too much
guess im nothing to you people anymore

you

you broke my heart a year ago, and now you want it back?

at least now you know what it feels like (:

eye candy

i wantwantwant these heels pretty please with sugar on top /:

yes, i still blog.

my to do list for now is :-

getting my tongue re-pierced
dying the bottom half of my hair pink
getting a tattoo by this month
dont cut hair for at least a year and a half

i havent cut my hair in about 7 months now.

/end

the end of another one. i give up.

here's your update.

im blogging somewhere else now and it's private.
no need to ask where cause i wont tell you.
its only for me, myself and tommeh (:
been too busy and lazy to update anyways.
goodbyes.

301

things i miss doing :-

random unplanned outtings
random drinking sessions
random sleepovers
random phonecalls at four in the morning
staying up all night and talking about everything
watching movies huddled up together
sharing one blanket on one mattress with five people
doing crazy stuff at 5 in the morning

me-ow

today is different.
it feels different.
but it's just like any other day.

momster

i love my mommy
heheheheh
bye

hi hi hello bye

today, i stoned and listened to music at the canteen for one and a half hours. because i don't have friends who go to the same driving school. i don't mind though, minus the fact that i was so tired i almost fell asleep on the table. driving instructor didn't tell me he had to teach another student. so anyways, the other half hour, this girl randomly came up to me and asked if i smoke. she saw me smoking so i obviously couldn't deny. so yeah we went to the back and talked a bit, and she didn't wanna smoke at the canteen cause her instructor knows her parents, lol.

we were friends for like 10 minutes. we walked back and she went to wait for her next errh wotsat. i have no idea what it's called. so i walked back and waited for my instructor in front of the office cause i'm bad at making friends like that.

to that random girl, if you ever reads this, which i really doubt you will, sorry i didn't say bye :p

there is something really wrong with me

im not ready to be in a relationship because i dont want to keep going through the same things over and over again. i thought the whole purpose of us dating is for us to do whatever we want and not feel attached. yet, i still feel like i am attached, to you. i'm not a clingy girl and sometimes i just need some time for myself. why would you compare what you've done for me to what i've done for you? i know i don't do much and i do feel bad. i don't understand how you feel used. im so sick of this.

i don't want to be with someone clingy. i don't need that anymore. i don't understand why are you rushing to be in a relationship. it's not gonna be the end of the world. get a grip. let loose. have some fun. thats all i want for you. i know your intentions, and i may seem selfish but i want myself to be happy for now. i just want happiness. i just feel that no matter how much i explain myself to you, you will never understand.

this will be a never ending rant, so i should just stop before i say something really stupid.